MummyFever

The paradox of parenthood

Once you have been a parent for a while, you begin to realise what a total paradox it is the bulk of the time.

Parenting can be the most amazing experience, which brings overwhelming love, joy, happiness and an immense sense of pride. At the same time, parenting can bring pain, sadness, frustration and total despair. The interesting thing about parenthood is that these dramatically contrasting emotions can often happen simultaneously.

I have always felt that this famous Theodore Roosevelt quote applies to parenthood:

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

Giving birth is physically the hardest thing I have ever put my body through. None of the marathons I have run have been as physically demanding or draining or painful as giving birth to my four children, and yet I would have gone through that over and over again to get this prize at the end.

children

Being a parent has caused more anxiety than I ever knew was possible in life, and yet I’d endure that every day to get the pleasure of being a mummy to this bunch. Being a parent has made me more exhausted than I could ever have imagined feeling, and yet, some of the sweetest moments with my children have taken place during extreme sleep deprivation.

On the bad days you can feel like a total failure, you might also feel like just a servant, a referee, a cook, a taxi driver, a poop scooper and generally undervalued and invisible.

On the good days though you can feel like a superhero, on top of the world and invincible.

Some days you’ll feel all of these emotions in one day!

Parenthood is not all cheery families holding hands whilst skipping into the sunset through a field of bluebells. It really isn’t, as much as some Instagram feeds like to make you think that is the case.

Parenthood is hard, no doubt about it.

Is it worth it? Absolutely it is!

curiosity

Every tantrum, every cut knee, every fall, every sibling fight, every sulking session, every cross word, every difficult minute, hour, day, every sleepless night, is all completely worth it.

When you pause from all the madness and chaos and look at your children and remember that you grew them, gave birth to them and raised them everyday to this point in time, you realise how incredibly lucky you are to have had these experiences, to have had the privilege of being their parent.

Parenthood is a sacrifice on so many levels. Many of us will sacrifice time, money and even a career, but it is a sacrifice that is so worthwhile. My children have enriched my live beyond belief, but they have also enriched the lives of so many others too – grandparents, other family members, other children, teachers, even total strangers. When I think about how they have impacted not only on my life, but the lives of so many others in such a short amount of time, I can’t help but think what they could do in a lifetime.

It might be a paradox, there might be days you’d rather not repeat, but for me – I wouldn’t swap it for anything.

…and those perfect moments, they do happen, they are real, but they don’t involve Instagram, skipping and bluebells, they are much more simple than that.

7 comments on 'The paradox of parenthood'

  • Absolutely true! I find myself focusing on all of the difficult times at the moment as Mia is 3 but we have just moved house and she is showing that she is slightly unsettled by a ridiculous amount of tantrums each day over everything and its so tiring! Your post made me think of all the positives that have recently got lost in the stress of moving just after Christmas and dealing with Mia but, like you say, its totally worth it! 🙂

    #sharewithme

  • Oh this is so true. My Instagram is full of happy family times and beautiful pictures but there is plenty of hard times behind the scenes. I wouldn’t change a thing though, you need the tough times to appreciate the good times. #ShareWithMe

  • Very lovely and thoughtful post. I completely agree. I think it has taught me to be present in the moment alot more. To really try to enjoy everything for what it is. The good and the bad. Thankfully the bad’s have been sparingly few.

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