My advice to new parents
As a mum of four you might be thinking that this article is about me imparting my wisdom on you and giving parenting advice where it is neither wanted nor needed.
Far from it.
In my view parenting is a journey. There is no right or wrong way to do it just different approaches and we are entitled to choose our own path.
My advice however is really important. I won’t tell you how you should feed your baby, or whether to co-sleep or not but I will tell you to NEVER TEMPT FATE!
There is, as a parent, a temptation to gloat sometimes, or boast a little perhaps. Don’t do it, don’t say these things, hell, don’t even think them for more than five seconds. Five seconds is the limit, by the time you get to six seconds you are pushing your luck.
Never EVER say:
- Little Archie has been dry at night since 18 months – you have just guaranteed that you will be mopping up urine several times a night for the next two weeks
- Little Esme eat’s everything we give her – you’ve just caused little Esme to go on hunger strike for the next week
- Little Lucus sleeps through now – you fool, you have just ensured a return to night feeds
- We’ve not had chicken pox in our house yet – log on to boots.com and order all the recommended products to deal with a chicken pox invasion IMMEDIATELY and kiss goodbye to anything in your diary for the next month as it passes from one child to the other
- Neither Daisy nor Travis have ever bitten anyone – get the gifts ready and your apologetic face on
- Little Charlie can recite the alphabet backwards and say 150 words and he is only 20 months – it’s going to be quiet when you are out in public for a while
So please, parents, listen up, keep these thoughts to yourself (and remember for no longer than five seconds)! You have been warned and you will only have yourselves to blame if you ignore my advice.
Also your little ones will be having a good laugh at your expense, just like this little fella!
*Please note names of children have been changed to avoid any future embarrassment*