What is it about being pregnant that attracts negative comments from not only friends and family, but acquaintances and total strangers to boot?
In three out of my four pregnancies I endured this. I say “endured” because that’s what it felt like. I was told numerous times I was too sensitive and took things too personally but I’m afraid that the things that were said in my view were personal and I wouldn’t dream of saying them to anyone pregnant or not.
In my view you should never say any of the following to a pregnant person:
- Are you sure you aren’t having twins/triplets/quads?
- You are huge!
- Do you feel as massive as you look?
- Watch out large vehicle coming through!
- You don’t look like you will last another 2,3,4,5,6,7,8 weeks!
- Wow! That’s a massive baby!
- You look enormous!
- You look ready to pop?
- How does (insert partners name) feel about sleeping with a whale ?
Quite frankly if you can’t say anything nice don’t bother. Engage your brain and think how you would feel if someone fired one of those comments at you.
Things you could say instead include:
- How are you doing / feeling?
- Are you getting much sleep?
- You look great/well/amazing
- Are you excited/anxious?
- What are you enjoying about pregnancy?
- Or… Nothing related to the pregnancy at all!
Generally speaking, at some point in pregnancy a woman will feel fat and not great about at least some part of her changing body – she doesn’t need everyone else adding to that.
Boost her up instead of pulling her down and let her enjoy the amazing parts of her pregnancy.
35 comments
Quite right!! I also had it the other way ‘you don’t look pregnant at all, just like you’ve put weight on’. Aww thanks so much for that…
Arrrh equally as annoying! Thanks for reading 🙂
Wow I didn’t realise people could be so cruel, my other half never mentioned going through any of this, shocking stuff.
Oh, hopefully that means she didn’t get any mean comments then 🙂
I did a post very similar when I was heavily pregnant! I was big, I had a 10 lb baby. But the comments about how huge I was really got to me!!
Yes , me too – I can understand that .
Haha I got a lot of these. The worst for me was ‘it’s definitely going to be a 10 pounder’. Yes that is not what a pregnant woman who is 38 weeks pregnant and worried about how she is going to push the baby out wants to hear! X
Exactly ! Not helpful is it? Thanks for reading 🙂
Absolutely right! I don’t know why people feel the need to comment on shape, size, dimensions etc of anybody’s bump. My mum always tells me if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all – so true. I had so many comments on the size of my bump which was very small (and I had a small but healthy baby) – but it got to the point where I started worrying that the baby wasn’t growing enough all because of people going on and on about how small it was!
Your mum is spot one, I totally agree! Thanks for sharing your experience.
I am lucky that I haven’t had people say nasty things to me when I was pregnant with my girls. I did have the odd comment saying it doesn’t look like I have long left etc but I honestly didn’t mind that comment.
thanks for linking up with #justanotherlinky over at http://www.life-as-mum.co.uk
Oh that’s good that you escaped. Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂
Totally agree with this. As a pregnant woman we already experience the hormones, the weight, the fact that we don’t feel sexy anymore. This people should be a sunshine of good vibes and not opposite.
For all the pregnant ladies – You are beautiful!
xx Marta
#TheList
Thanks Marta! It can be a challenging time for many women can’t it.
Great post…I remember some of those. I got more of your bump is tiny which me feel like I was starving my baby! lol xx #bigfatlinky
Yes – either way the implication is you are doing something wrong isn’t it?
I got annoyed by the ‘have you tried a ginger biscuit?’ comments because I had HG – I think that comment above all made me see red! And the oh don’t you look small, big, massive etc all in the same day. And even – when are you having the next one!!!!
Oh dear – that’s it isn’t it, when you hear something so often. It is also very boring to hear the same thing over and over.
So true!! I got some of them and I’m pretty sure they were met with a snide remark! Haha! Great read! Suz xx beauisblue.com
Good for you – I always thought of the good comebacks when it was too late 🙁
Oh my goodness! The things people say. It’s like, do people not know how to be tactful anymore? lol #brilliantblogposts
I think not! I am not surprised by anything anymore. Thanks for reading 🙂
I remember at work there was one day where 1 customer couldn’t believe I was as far along as I was because she thought I was small, and another asked if I was having twins because I was so big. I don’t know what makes people think it’s okay to make comments like that! xx #ShareWithMe
Two extremes then? Awful isn’t it but so many people seem to think it is OK.
Like a few of the other people that have commented I had “that’s going to be a 10 pounder/big one”. But was has been worse is having had my child being asked 20 months on “when’s it due”!! #sharewithme
Oh no – I am waiting for that one! Not had it yet but it’s about the only thing I haven’t heard. Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂
Yes I got the massive comments! Grrr! Thanks so much for linking up to #TheList x
Grrrr just about sums it up doesn’t it? x
Now from a guys point of view I see this in two different ways:
1. I have been that annoying person who have said those comments. and sadly it has been those moments where my brain hasn’t engaged properly.
2. I have been brought up enough for saying these comments that I now know that it isn’t something to say.
I think sometimes people just don’t think before they speak and I know that I never did. But I think posts like this and people bringing their questions out will hopefully stop people for making these silly remarks. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there next week
Thanks for sharing this ! Good of you to admit you’ve said these things lol – many wouldn’t 🙂
Yep yep yep! At no other time would complete strangers think its ok to comment on a woman’s body, so why is pregnancy any different?! Grrr! x x
Exactly – no one would comment otherwise would they!
I love this. Great list and I can remember these well. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
Thanks for reading Jenny 🙂