Who Mothers the Mother?

Motherhood is full of moments where we instinctively nurture, comfort, and care for our children. But what happens when a mother doesn’t have that same support for herself? When was the last time you hugged your child and told them everything would be okay? Now ask yourself—when was the last time someone did that for you?

The Silent Strength of a Mother’s Presence

For those who still have a mother’s support, it provides a sense of security that extends well into adulthood. A mother often recognises when her child, no matter how grown, is struggling. She steps in before help is requested, offers reassurance in difficult moments, and reminds her child that she is never truly alone.

A simple phone call, an unexpected meal, or a warm embrace after a long day—these small but powerful gestures matter. They create a sense of being cared for, something that many take for granted. Acknowledging and appreciating this kind of support is important, not just for our own gratitude but in recognising that not every mother has this safety net.

When Motherhood Feels Like a Solo Journey

Not every mother has someone to mother her. Some navigate parenthood without the presence of their own mothers due to loss, distance, or strained relationships. Others may have never experienced a nurturing mother figure, making it even more important to break generational cycles and provide their own children with the love and support they lacked.

💬 Losing a mother means raising children without the guidance, comfort, and reassurance that once felt like a given.

💬 Distant or strained relationships create an emotional void, making motherhood a more isolating experience.

💬 Never having had a nurturing mother leaves some mothers learning to parent without a model for unconditional support.

Without that presence, the emotional weight of parenting can feel heavier. There’s no one to step in on hard days, reassure when things feel overwhelming, or simply say, ‘You’re doing great’. It requires incredible resilience and self-reliance to fill those gaps alone.

Mindful Words: How We Talk About Support

For those who receive constant support from their mothers, it’s natural to express gratitude. However, certain phrases can unintentionally remind others of what they don’t have.

💬 Saying “I don’t know how I’d cope without my mum” or “I couldn’t do this without her” may be spoken with love, but for those navigating motherhood alone, it can highlight their isolation.

This isn’t about diminishing appreciation but rather being mindful that not everyone shares the same experience. Thoughtfulness in our words can help create an environment where all mothers feel seen and valued.

Finding Strength and Support Elsewhere

Motherhood without a mother’s support can feel lonely, but strength is often found in unexpected places. Support may not come from where we expect, but it can be built through meaningful relationships and intentional self-care.

🌿 Friends who become family – Trusted friendships can offer emotional support, encouragement, and even practical help.

🌿 Online and local communities – Parenting groups, online forums, and support networks provide connection and understanding.

🌿 Prioritising self-care – Taking a moment to recognise your own efforts, celebrate small wins, and rest when needed is essential.

Sometimes, we have to build our own village, finding comfort and support in unconventional ways. And that’s okay.

Final Thoughts

Motherhood is a journey of giving—love, patience, energy, and time. But recognising our own needs is just as important.

For those who have a mother’s support, appreciation is key. For those who do not, strength and resilience prove that motherhood is not just about what we receive, but about what we give.

💬 Have you experienced motherhood without the support of a mother? How have you navigated it? Let’s continue the conversation—I’d love to hear your thoughts.