MummyFever

Motherhood without being mothered

When was the last time you hugged one of your children and told them everything would be OK? When was the last time that you did something for them without being asked? When was the last time you helped them out? When was the last time you talked to them about something that was worrying them? When was the last time you offered them advice? When was the last time you just enjoyed each others company?

In all likelihood for most of you the answer to this will be that you do these things constantly, every day in some cases, because they are all part of being a mother. We do so many of these things without even thinking, they are just a natural part of the way we nurture our children.

family walk

How many of you still have mothers to nurture you in some of the same ways? Mothers who support you no matter what, who don’t care if you are having a bad day, who would do anything to make life that little bit easier wherever they can? Mothers who know that everyday you are trying your best to juggle the huge amount of things that you juggle and to be the best version of yourselves that you can be? Mothers who recognise when you need that hug or the pat on the back that no one else will give you? Mothers to just love you, unconditionally?

For those of you that do, embrace it. Enjoy it. Savour it. Appreciate it all.

Whilst you do, be a little sensitive when you publicly talk about all these things you have in a mother. Think before you say things like “I don’t know how I’d cope without…” or “we couldn’t manage without…” – know that you would cope, you would manage, you would survive, just as many mothers do.

siblings

Not every mother has the opportunity to still be mothered whilst she travels her own journey through motherhood. For some this will be a choice, for others this is forced upon them, either way, remember it’s a much more lonely road.

12 comments on 'Motherhood without being mothered'

  • I miss my mother every day. This is especially true now that I’m parenting a teenager. However, my mother-in-law is a remarkable woman and she treats me rather well too.

  • I’m only able to see my mother once or twice as year as she lives abroad and boy, do I make the most of it when we’re together!

  • My own mother has never been a supporter or nurturer and I am always very envious of my friends who have that amazing relationship with their own mother – they often don’t appreciate what they have. I try very hard to be the supportive and nurturing mum to my 2 little ones in the hope that I can at least provide that relationship for them as they grow up and beyond, but without that template from my own experience with my parents, I often feel a bit like I am winging it!

  • My mum is no longer here
    A special lady who loved and adored all 9 of us
    Left us with the greatest gift of all by showing us love isnt bought its given x

  • A really lovely post, I see my mum once a week as she lives over an hour away however we are still very close and I have been supported and learnt so much about raising Mia from her that I cant imagine having to do it without her. I know so many people who haven’t/wont have their mums there through life as my best friend lost her mum almost 4 years ago and wont get to see her become a mother and go through life. Its awful and just makes me cherish my mum even more 🙂

    #sharewithme

  • Lovely post. My mum lives just a couple of minutes away and so she is round most days just to say hi or help out or drop me off something she has picked up. I’m very lucky, I know that so many are not. #sharewithme

  • unfortunately me and my mother have never really got along, we just dont have anything in common and she has big regrets about things that happened in my teenage years that I think impacted the relationship.
    Whilst I love her, I feel that since becoming a mother the gap has unfortunately widened. We have different parenting views and whilst im vocal about things she is a pacifier and a people pleaser. It is a shame as I’d love to have that extra support that I dont feel like my siblings get. #sharewithme

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