MummyFever

An open letter to my children: part one

Dear Children,

You will never know….

  • the elation I felt when I discovered I was pregnant with each one of you
  • the combination of excitement and anxiety I felt during each of my pregnancies
  • the amazing sensation of having you wiggle about inside my tummy
  • the combination of impatience, fear and joy I felt as each pregnancy reached its final weeks
  • the hours I spent with my head down the toilet being sick
  • the hours I spent awake because I just couldn’t get comfy
  • the number of times I prodded and poked you in my tummy … just to check you were OK
  • the hours I spent wondering what you would look like
  • the rudeness I endured from complete strangers and those closer to us
  • the number of times I was asked when you were going to arrive
  • the hours I spent trying to encourage you to come and the lengths I went to
  • the pain and fear I felt during your inductions and labours


You will not remember…

  • what my heart sounds like from the inside – but you are the only four people in the world who have heard that
  • the look on my face when you were placed on my tummy
  • me whispering in your ear “I’m your Mummy”
  • the way I held you so tight
  • the hours I spent feeding you at night
  • all the times I walked and rocked and sang you to sleep
  • the way I stared at your tiny little features and marveled at how you had grown inside me
  • the times I panicked and worried when you were poorly
  • the combination of anxiety, joy, love and fulfillment that you have made me feel every day since you arrived
  • how proud you have made me every single day
  • all the times you made me laugh out loud
  • how you four made me a stronger, better, happier person

These are my special memories. Memories that represent our bond together.
I am so grateful to be your Mummy and so lucky to have had the chance to feel these things and experience motherhood four times in four different ways. Each time one of you was born my heart grew bigger so it could fit all the love inside.


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