These commandments might not be written down, but we all know and understand them… don’t we? I’m still undecided…

1. Thou Shalt Get Thy Child to Share

Polite mums often find themselves with toddlers endlessly passing a toy back and forth. It doesn’t matter if your child refuses to share; toddlers will be toddlers – it’s entirely normal.

2. Thou Shalt Not Allow Thy Child to Misbehave Without Reacting

Children will misbehave, but it’s crucial for an attentive mum to spot and address such behaviour promptly. Ignoring or laughing off naughtiness can lead to serious mummy disputes!

3. Thou Shalt Keep an Eye on Thy Child

This follows on from Commandment 2 – you can’t just leave your children in the play area and ignore them while you enjoy a quiet drink.

4. Thou Shalt Not Criticise Another Mother’s Child

Comments like ‘What’s wrong with him?’ or ‘She’s got quite a temper, hasn’t she?’ are off-limits. All young children have their moments, and it’s unfair to judge without understanding the circumstances.

5. Thou Shalt Not Give Unsolicited Advice

‘Helpful hints’ like ‘Don’t you think your baby needs another layer?’ or ‘He looks hungry’ can be offensive. Mothers know their babies best, and these comments, even from friends, can be frustrating.

6. Thou Shalt Not Be Too Gorgeous

Some women naturally bounce back after having a baby, but the mummy rules definitely allow for going out in a top covered in sick, with straggly hair, a few extra pounds, and comfy shoes. It’s perfectly fine!

7. Thou Shalt Not Be Too Smug

Boasting about your perfect sleeper, your child’s milestones, or how they never cry is one of the biggest mummy crimes. Humility goes a long way.

8. Thou Shalt Make an Effort Socially

At playgroup, if someone sits next to you, it’s polite to smile and make chit-chat. There’s nothing more irritating than a frosty clique, and these cliques don’t stop at playgroup – they follow you to school as well!

9. Thou Shalt Not Judge Publicly on Working vs Staying at Home

Whether you believe mums should stay at home, go to work, or balance both, always act like you respect the other choice. Judgement in this area can lead to significant conflicts.

10. Thou Shalt Give Thyself a Break

Sometimes, you just have to break the rules… while no one is watching!

Embrace these commandments to navigate the tricky world of mummy-hood with grace and respect. Remember, we’re all doing our best!