I firmly believe in a famous quote, “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice!” Children are heavily dependent on their parents emotionally too. They look upon their parents and get every cue from them of what is right or wrong. It is time to self-check ourselves; we not only need to sow organic thoughts in them but also built greater humanity through them in future.
Children should be raised in a happy environment, they deserve it. While parenting can be stressful at times, it’s also incredibly rewarding.
Do not label your child
“You are so Hyper, why did you break that glass can’t you be more careful?”
“Don’t be shy, talk freely with other children in our street.”
Some children are a little reserved in social gatherings, but there is no need to label them as “You are shy,” You are Hyper”.., which may leave a negative impact on them, and eventually they start to believe “Yes! I am shy”. Instead, you could tell them “I know you are great observer/thinker, you will have more fun if you can share your thoughts with others once in a while – no negative labeling, but encouraging more positively.
An article published by The Guardian in 2015, has beautifully elaborated on various sensitive issues that a generation of children are facing in day to day life. Why to so many adults feel the need to judge and label?
Do not apply negative assumptions of others
“Listen! Don’t take this expensive toy to the playground otherwise, that child will grab it.”
We all have different opinions about others, from nosey neighbors to few nagging relatives. However, there is no need to transfer our negative thoughts to our children. It’s likely to backfire for a start, not to mention impact on the way they feel about others. There are other ways to deal with situations and in a world where we can be anything we all know we need to be kind.
Blackmail will not work
“No, don’t do that! You won’t be able to have that extra play time.”
Yes, teaching a child discipline is vital and learning about consequences. We’ve all said things that this, multiple times no doubt. However, it matters how we impose rules on them as a habit and not by blackmailing them by cutting off their favorite cookie/games, which will cultivate hatred towards those rules. Instead, you can read or show videos about good habits/behaviors through plenty of social stories available online. The best time to talk things through is when the children are in a more receptive mood, for example at bedtime.
Don’t compare your children with others!
“Look Alan has joined Football and Sarah doing great ballet dance, but what about you? I need to enroll you in some classes soon.”
What’s that phrase… comparison is the thief of joy? Though this trend is slowly changing, there are still parents who appear to be in a rat race, especially when it comes to after-school activities. Comparing your children with other children could lower self-esteem. This peer pressure will slowly start to reduce their confidence level in their early stage of life itself. Give them their space and let them decide what they are interested in, pushy parents are not cool!
Raising a child requires strong discipline and strong willpower and a whole lot of patience. It’s so easy to just give in to there cute little faces and hand over sweets and unlimited time playing, but parents should take a leaf out of gamblers who require an extraordinary amount of discipline when playing vegas slot games. Parents unlike gamblers do not have self exclusion tools, time out periods and limits that can be easily applied, instead they have to rely on good old fashioned support networks of friends and family to get through difficult times.
Keep it simple and play it cool for an awesome parenting ride with your little one. In a blink of the eye, these golden years stay as a memory for both you and your children.