Females are often hardwired to nurture, give advice, and at times judge. We are all human at the end of the day and we each have our flaws, and our preferred ways of doing things, but sometimes the advice we get, or maybe a comment we have overheard really gets to us.
There is no manual when it comes to being a mother and despite reading every self-help or ‘how to’ book on the market, you still won’t have all the answers. There is no checklist we can keep on hand that lists the perfect way of doing things. If at times you feel guilty or feel that you are not doing a good job, try not to be so hard on yourself because you are not the only one who is learning all the new tricks about motherhood. Everyone gets mum guilt, whatever your situation.
Here are a few myths and opinions that we have busted about being a mum.
#1 You Have To Look The Part
If this means wearing mum jeans, scrunchies and Crocs to match, then count me out! Being a mother does not mean you have to switch your wedges for flats or your skinny jeans for baggy sweatpants, BUT of course you can if you want! It’s like there is this expectation that mothers are supposed to look worn out, tired and at their wits end. There is absolutely no shame in feeling glam or getting a little dressed up every now and then for no reason. Equally, there’s no shame in wearing whatever works for you – which will differ depending on the day. Basically – mum it how you want to!
If you have been caught up in the stereotype and want to change your lifestyle for the better, check out Authority Health for tips on how to feel and look great every day (well, most days).
#2 Everything Must Be Perfect
This may be true on some planet in some far away galaxy but here on earth, we make mistakes and that’s OK. When someone gives you the “you’re doing it wrong, do it this way” advice when it comes to your children, it’s important that you do not let it get to you. Every mother is different and each one has their own unique parenting style. How you choose to raise your child has nothing to do with anybody else unless you have actually asked for help.
Nobody is perfect, and your children will not be any less successful or happy just because you choose to mentor them the best way you know how. You turned out alright, didn’t you? If you do make a mistake like adding one spoonful of too much formula that one time or forgetting an extra set of clothes at home, or maybe that one day they didn’t get their 5-a-day, it’s not the end of the world, you are learning and soon enough you will have it all under control.
#3 You Will Be Homebound
Just because you had a baby does not mean that leaving the house is off the cards. We get that crowded areas are a no go for a little while, especially with all that bacteria floating around but getting in a little fresh air at the park or while having a stroll around the block will do you both good.
If the weather is good and you have dressed your baby appropriately and applied the correct method of sun protection, then there should be no excuse not to go outdoors. The fresh air helps to clean your baby’s lungs and helps to improve sleep.
#4 Goodbye romance
A lot of people say that romance drastically decreases after the birth of their child and that it hasn’t got much better since then because they are tired or haven’t got the time. This has to be one of the worst myths out there. While it is very tough in the beginning, especially when you are getting up a few times a night, it doesn’t mean that it has to go out of the window.
Preserving your relationship and finding the time to spend together is nothing you should feel guilty about, you are allowed to spend quality time together for a few hours instead of doing laundry, packing lunches or cleaning up when your baby is napping. A healthy home and upbringing starts with you and your partner’s relationship. Make the effort to keep the romance alive, even on the tough days. The smallest gesture can make a world of difference.