The last breastfeed

Remember, remember the 5th of  November 2015 – I will.

I’m not sure if I ever gave much thought to the last breastfeed over nine years ago as I gave my first born her first feed. After all, that was only the start of the journey.

I’ve spoken before about my views on breastfeeding and that whilst it isn’t for everyone, it was something I wanted to do for my children and something I persevered at even when it was difficult and painful. As I said before my babies, my choice.

I have breastfed four children for different periods of time which works out at over 10,000 feeds! I have to be proud of that and I am.

All good things come to an end though, and for about the last three months that last breastfeed has been looming. I knew it was coming and I wasn’t quite sure how it was going to go down.

I’ve breastfeed my youngest little man for 14 months but when he hit 12 months, feeding times became more like a nipple workout than anything else. I went back to basics and tried all the tricks I have learnt over the years but he just loved to tug on my nipple and managed to get himself into all sorts of positions still with my nipple in his mouth. Playing more than feeding.

I began to cut down the feeds and I knew it was the right time to stop.

Then the poor little man was struck down with a bad dose of hand foot and mouth, which meant putting a nipple in his mouth and sucking was just impossible.

I could have pumped to maintain a supply but I didn’t.

He seemed ok with it.

I felt a bit cheated and it certainly wasn’t how I imagined the last feed to be. This time it really was the last feed. There will be no more babies now so these boobs really are done nourishing little ones.

It’s a funny old feeling really that never ever again feeling.

Four days later the dreadful hand foot and mouth had cleared and then suddenly he was demanding “booboos” again day and night. We are now into the fourth week and he is still trying to feed. It breaks my heart.

I wish we still had our last feed to come. He is very sad and very cross with Mummy.

TDP_0003

How did you end breastfeeding?

15 comments

  1. My last feed was on November 5th last year, although I’m hoping I’ll feed baby Fish when she arrives next spring. I stopped after being emotionally broken from the horrors of silent reflux and dealing with Toby rejecting me because it hurt him then needing me for temporary comfort. It wasn’t nice but I needed to break the cycle of him associating me with pain and also my mental health was suffering. It’s not easy but he will get used to not breastfeeding and he’ll definitely forgive you! Lots of love xx

    1. Ah thanks Hannah this little one had the same – awful thing isn’t it. He actually fed well most of the time but the car seat or his bed have always been problematic. I’ve carried him in the baby carrier for a large part of the time to help the pain he felt and the choking episodes.

      Thank you for reading and sharing you experience and I hope it’s a better one for you next spring xxx

  2. Oh, that little face! How sweet. I recently stopped breastfeeding my 12 month old baby, I was consciously reducing feeds until we were down to 1/2 a feed before bed, but I didn’t make a plan of when to have the last feed. My little one is allergic to cows milk proteins which means I was off dairy for months and really missed it. One day I had some cheesecake and realised I wouldn’t be able to feed him that evening, he was fine with the missed feed and that was the end of it. We got off to a very rocky start with breastfeeding and I think for both of us feeding became a functional matter not at emotional one. I always feel a bit callous saying that, but my baby just never was a great milk feeder. It is a real shame that both of you didn’t get to treasure your last feed together and I hope it won’t be too long until your fellow comes around. #TwinklyTuesday

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience Robyn – I think it’s been harder as he never really had a bottle as I just didn’t have the time to express this time around. He’s getting better with one but still after “booboos” .

  3. Oh that little face! It’s hard when the last feed comes a little unexpectedly – my youngest just announced one day “no booby Mummy” and that was it. Whilst it was good that it was the right time for her, I still felt sad because I just wasn’t prepared for it to happen when it did. Hope that your little one adjusts soon to not having “booboos” #twinklytuesday

  4. I couldn’t face the last feed moment so I never made a conscious decision to stop. Just one day he didn’t have his evening feed and it seemed right so we never did it again. I don’t think I could have done it any other way! It’s a funny feeling, knowing you will never feed them again, especially after such a long time. #TwinklyTuesday

  5. This brings back memories for my mummy and she was very sad stopping the breastfeeding when she went back to work and I started nursery. It was a natural progression and thankfully I took to the bottle easily. She still misses it though 🙁 #TwinklyTuesday x

  6. You won’t be surprised to hear that I have never breastfed! I can appreciate the final feed must be a very special moment. I shall be asking my wife to see if she recalls the last feeds for our two. #BrilliantBlogPosts

  7. That photo! They certainly know how to make us feel bad don’t they?! I have also breast fed four children so do understand where you are coming from. It is always a tricky cross over time for the children but they do always eventually (some slower than others!) forget about it. I sometimes think it is actually harder for us mums who at times seem to be filled with feelings of guilt and also the realisation that the ‘special’ feeling you get from breast feeding is over. I always stopped around a year old as like you say, it becomes quite a challenge after that. Mine seemed to spend quite a few weeks after pulling at my top. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and New Year. #BrilliantBlogPosts

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your experience Sara. You are right about the guilt and the challenge post 12 months too. He’s very much into top pulling and putting his hand in as well bless him. Hope you have a lovely Christmas too x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *